Being sexually active can cause misconceptions to transpire; some misconceptions have been heard and shared so many times that they have to be true. That in itself is a misconception! Here are 5 common sex misconceptions.
- Forgetting to wear a Condom is okay sometimes
There is a common belief that wearing a condom some of the time is perfectly acceptable. Once in awhile not wearing one will not cause pregnancy or contracting a sexually transmitted disease/infection (STD/STI). Wearing a condom is like wearing seatbelt except nothing beeps at you to remind you to buckle up (put on your condom).
*A condom must be worn every time to prevent pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease/infection.
2. STDs and STIs are exactly the same
There is a difference between STD (sexually transmitted disease) and STI (sexually transmitted infection). “Why the change? The concept of “disease,” as in STD, suggests a clear medical problem, usually some obvious signs or symptoms. But several of the most common STDs have no signs or symptoms in the majority of persons infected. Or they have mild signs and symptoms that can be easily overlooked. So the sexually transmitted virus or bacteria can be described as creating “infection,” which may or may not result in “disease.” This is true of chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and human papillomavirus (HPV), to name a few,” according to the American Sexual Health Association
3. Foreplay isn’t necessary
As a sex therapist, I tell people all the time, “foreplay is to assist both people in getting ready for intercourse. Like the trailers before a movie. Taking your time before sex also adds to the intimacy of intercourse. Not just, the physical intimacy but the emotional intimacy as well.” Foreplay can be many things from cuddling to a make-out session. This a good time to make eye contact and express intimate feelings.
4. Sex just happens
This fourth common misconception, I hear from patients about intercourse is it is supposed to be spontaneous. Intercourse after the honeymoon phase of the relationship (during the first two years typically), has to be planned. Once the honeymoon phase ends, people tend to overlook having intercourse. Sex isn’t a priority like it used to be. You can discuss it with your partner and make a plan when you have sex. After the honeymoon phase ends, romantic or sexual attraction isn’t enough for sex to just happen without effort. Sex is the only system in the human body that can be turned off, meaning the brain has just as much of [an] impact on whether sex does or does not happen, as genitalia does.
5. Sex is only good if it ends with an orgasm
This ties into the foreplay myth. Sex is simultaneously pleasurable and relaxing. Having an orgasm is a bonus to the connection between partners. When that is the main focus of the sexual play then everything that happened prior loses its impacts. Kissing and being caressed, for example, feel wonderful and those acts should not be minimized if an orgasm does not happen. I equate it to having a four-course meal that ends with a dessert. If the dessert was mediocre, then does that, therefore, mean the entire meal prior was mediocre too?