Covid 19 & relationship difficulties. Here are a few tips from a Therapist on how to repair your relationship during this pandemic.
When we were all blissfully unaware and thinking about our future last year, we probably didn’t think this would be our present-day reality in 2020. But here we are. Given our current situation, it seems impossible that relationship issues wouldn’t arrive during such a stressful year. These are uncertain times that are difficult to navigate even when we have the best of intentions with our partner. If you’re experiencing relationship issues, here a few tips from a couples and sex therapist. These will guide you in making relationship repairs.
ASSUME THE BEST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER
There is no long-term research on how human beings react to this specific situation. This is an unprecedented time of stress with the added bonus of constant technological bombardment. We are glued to social media and news without certainty that we are receiving viable information. This can create a distrusting environment in a household when we are on constant high alert. Maybe your partner’s mood has nothing to do with you. Maybe your partner is not intentionally being dismissive or mean.
Assuming the worst about your partner could be contributing more strife to your relationship than you realize. Give your partner and yourself a break. It might be helpful to remind yourself that you can trust your partner and that they do have your best interest at heart.
STOP SHOULD-ING ALL OVER YOURSELF
“I should be having the best sex of my life right now.” “I should be feeling happier.” “I should be getting more done.” I have heard these anecdotes A LOT in session these last few months. I would invite you to explore why you feel you should be doing anything that you’re not already doing. I am observing a quarantine type of Keeping Up with the Joneses at a time where we aren’t actually seeing what is happening with people, except on false social media platforms.
We are having significantly less face to face interaction and cannot accurately judge what is really going on with the people in our lives. Not that we ever really could. I will state this louder for the people in the back: we do not have research on how people respond long-term to this unprecedented time. Why would you think you know exactly what you should be doing or feeling during this time? No one does.
No, not a physical temperature check! (Although do not negate that if needed). How often do you check in with your partner throughout the week or day? This can also include checking in on how open your partner is to some sexy time. However, I’m noticing fewer check-ins among my clients because things aren’t changing physically in front of us from day to day. But they are changing socially and dramatically from day to day.
Ask your partner how they’re feeling with the intent to listen and be curious about their experience. Opening up a dialogue can help with those pesky assumptions that may not be accurate. If there is a block and you can’t seem to find a way to communicate without conflict, it may be time to seek professional assistance.
THERE IS HELP OUT THERE
These are just a few tips. I can’t know indefinitely what dynamics are occurring within your relationship or the difficulties you may be having during Covid-19. I hope these suggestions can help with your journey during this unsettling time. If you find there is more to discuss, please feel free to book an appointment with a qualified mental health professional soon.