The Critical Link: Intimacy, Chronic Illness, and Holistic Healing

If you are dealing with chronic illness, being intimate and feeling intimacy may feel like the last thing to consider while managing symptoms and treatments. Yet, it can play a crucial role in overall well-being. According to the CDC, approximately 129 million people live with a chronic disease, ranging from cancer and heart disease to obesity. Despite its importance, healthcare providers often neglect to have discussions about intimacy, leaving their patients to navigate this sensitive area on their own. It’s completely understandable that when dealing with health concerns, the main health treatments come first and other issues second. But, why not include both?

A study by Horden and Street (2007) highlights the disconnect between patients and providers regarding expectations of intimacy, especially in cancer care. Patients frequently feel their concerns about sexuality and intimacy are dismissed or assumed, leading to frustration and unmet needs.

However, addressing intimacy as part of holistic care can foster trust and enhance quality of life.  A larger part of this is that at times people do not have an understanding of what intimacy really is. 

In today’s world, we are usually plugged into our phones, iPads, TV, etc more than we are to our partners, friends, and family. At times it is not just kissing, but telling others about ourselves to regain those connections and rebuilt bonds to foster a better wellbeing.

Understanding Intimacy Beyond the Physical

Intimacy often brings to mind physical or romantic relationships, but it encompasses much more, particularly for individuals facing chronic illness. Exploring non-physical forms of intimacy can provide meaningful connection and support. A connection and support that connects them with the outside world, not just their illness.

Emotional Intimacy involves trust, vulnerability, and open communication. While commonly associated with romantic partners, emotional intimacy can also flourish in friendships and support groups, offering a vital human connection.

Intellectual Intimacy sharing ideas, beliefs, and opinions creates intellectual bonds. For instance, coworkers collaborating on a project may form a type of intellectual intimacy without emotional ties.

Spiritual Intimacy arises from shared spiritual or religious beliefs and values, offering comfort and solidarity.

Experiential Intimacy is shared with others, such as participating in support groups or joint activities and fostering connections based on mutual understanding. Anyone with a chronic illness will share that support groups can provide a unique space to build experiential intimacy. These relationships can inspire deeper connections in personal relationships, bridging gaps in emotional and physical intimacy at home.

Sexuality and Chronic Illness

Sexuality, as defined by the World Health Organization, is an integral part of the human experience, encompassing emotional, intellectual, and social dimensions (Tierney, 2008). However, sexuality in chronic illness is often overlooked unless it directly impacts physical health, particularly in cancer care.

Statistically speaking men address sexuality and sexual-related questions and concerns more than women.  Often, when women do address sexuality and sexual-related questions or concerns they are told things such as “deal with it” or “no one has an answer”. 

Every chronically ill patient deserves the connection and fulfillment that physical intimacy can bring, regardless of their health status. Today, women are more empowered to take control of their sexual health and education. Women are ready to not just roar, but “O”.

Creativity and communication are essential in redefining physical intimacy for chronically ill individuals. Pain, medication side effects, and physical limitations can be addressed with the support of healthcare providers, mental health professionals, and tools such as adaptive devices.

As always, being an advocate for yourself in all aspects is important.  Today, there are more and more organizations and people offering assistance to those seeking knowledge.

Taking the First Step

It would benefit everyone if healthcare providers took an active role in addressing intimacy during consultations. Patients deserve holistic care that includes open conversations about their needs.

Advocating for yourself and prioritizing this essential aspect of well-being, you can rediscover intimacy in all its forms. Sometimes, a holistic approach to care is exactly what the doctor should order.

Regaining intimacy is possible, even with chronic illness. Start by fostering emotional intimacy by sharing fears, needs, and vulnerabilities with your partner or support circle.

Emotional intimacy often creates a pathway for physical intimacy, allowing it to re-emerge naturally. Kiss your partner. Tell them how you feel.  The only thing holding you back and reclaiming the life you deserve, is you!