The passion is building every second that you are in the moment. The air is thick with anticipation and excitement. Both of you feel ready to explode. And then it happens….
Nope, I’m not talking about the explosive perfect ending to your intense sexual encounter, I’m talking about the “OH MY GOD that didn’t just happen moment”. The moment that leaves you searching for a rock to crawl under or a partner who is ready to laugh just as hard as you want to laugh to get through it. I’m talking about bedroom mishaps that leave you yearning to share with your friends, but hesitation about their reaction will be. I’m talking about the funnier, lighter, unplanned moments that leave you speechless.
My contest story and I’m sticking to it…lol
My moment came during intense foreplay and the moment was just as I described it above, the thick passionate air, tingling from top to bottom, minds free from everything that had built up from the day, and then without warning, he exploded. He exploded a little earlier than we had planned but THAT wasn’t the funny part. The funny part came after as we went to clean up when we couldn’t find “the mess” anywhere. We searched every inch, turned every light on, and left no corner unturned on AND off the bed. After 15 minutes and a few embarrassing chuckles together, we decided to go to sleep.
We both woke up the next morning with smiles and fond memories of our evening fun, and as I stretched and rubbed the sleep from my eyes through my hair I was taken to my knees in laughter. Belly hurting, teary-eyed laughter at the fact that I found “the mess”. Crusted and cozy IN MY HAIR…. it was all tangled along my forehead almost like a Something About Mary type of scene. We laughed so hard!
The partners that laugh together stay together so let’s hear it for the Sex Gone LMAO Wrong. We’ve all had them, and we can’t wait to hear yours!!!
Besides the one shared above here are a few of the ones that we have relished in with laughter during our first contest…laugh away!
- I accidentally broke a partner’s nose in college. He put his hand on my neck and I instinctively panicked and elbowed him in the face, breaking his nose and causing him to bleed on me. I have a weak stomach for blood so I started vomiting, and then he started vomiting because I was, still with a bleeding broken nose. It was the messiest sexual encounter of all time. Hilarious now!
- I have a funny story I could write about being caught after having sex by the police…they were actually very nice I was just a bit loud and someone heard me and was worried I was in distress (which if I had been that woman would be a hero so good on her really!)
- I had a condom get lost in me and my ex had to fish it out like he was some kind of gyno. I was panicking and laughing the whole time.
- Wedding night-my husband is 6′ 2″ and I am 5′ 8″. On our wedding night, we were of course making mad passionate love. I was completely in the moment, relishing in the thoughts of my beautiful wedding day and thankful for my wonderful sexy good in bed husband. He was going down on me, which I love and technically it wasn’t until my husband did I love it. And then suddenly I was yanked out of the intimate moment when I saw the new, never before seen bald spot starting on the top of his head. I didn’t say anything aloud because I didn’t want to ruin his moment of joy and lust. Instead inside my mind, I yelled WTF, where did that come from? Yuck!
- Noise Pollution-I once launched a two-day assault on my neighbors and family over a chronic noise that was beginning to drive me insane. What was this annoying hum keeping me awake at night? Disrupting any quiet moment with its persistent drone. I asked my son“are you leaving your game console running all night?” He quickly answered, “nooo.“ The next day I decided to take a walk around the block, looking for a possible moving van or truck with its diesel engine idling. Neighbors avoiding eye contact with me over my obvious irritation. Then one day it just stopped. Suddenly it was gone, and normal life resumed. Two years later while moving, I found a half-melted dildo in between my mattresses, It suddenly dawned on me that this was the source of my “Waco moment.” In some way, I felt relieved, “mystery solved.” But I also felt a bit perplexed. “Was I really comparing my sex toy to a diesel truck?”