Hallelujah sex after 50 doesn’t have to be a struggle. When I first started going through menopause, I went to my OB-GYN to complain that my sex drive was waning. I mentioned to her that I thought I was too young (I was in my early 40s) for that part of my life to be over. Her response? “Honey, when you’re dead is the only time that part of your life should be over!” And she’s right! We have a right to enjoy sex as long as we’re on this side of the grave, but that doesn’t mean the sex is the same from one decade to the next.
While you can enjoy sex regardless of your age, two things need to be kept in mind. First, sex changes as we get older. We don’t do it as frequently (usually!), and we have challenges that we didn’t have when we were younger. Second, there are always things you can do to improve your sex life. While sex may not be the same at thirty as it is at fifty or older, we can still take certain actions to make it even better.
Accepting That Things are Different
“Different” doesn’t necessarily correlate to “bad” when it comes to sex. After you turn 50, your body is not the same, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stop having sex or expect that sex isn’t going to be as good. For women, the fact that we no longer have to worry about getting pregnant is often enough to free us in the bedroom and allow us to try new things without worrying about any “consequences.”
Other physical changes are common as women get older, and one of the most frustrating changes for women is vaginal dryness. In fact, according to the North American Menopause Society, up to 45 percent of women who are past menopause experience sex that is painful. This is due to the vaginal tissues getting thinner and increased vaginal dryness, both of which are caused by the lowering of estrogen levels.
Fortunately, there are things you can do to help this particular problem go away, such as using estrogen creams, hormone replacement therapy, and even essential oils and herbs. No one wants to have sex when they know it’s going to hurt, so you should talk to your doctor about all of your options, which are plentiful. When there are no other medical possibilities usually, they recommended purchasing either good water- or silicone-based lubricant to help the immediate problem.
Your primary may recommend sex therapy as an option for you and yours. Just to have a mental check-up so to speak on how your feelings and thoughts have changed with age about sex.
For men, problems getting and keeping an erection seem to be the most difficult physical change to deal with, but due to all of the medications now available to take care of this problem, this is becoming less of a problem. If you’re a man in this situation, the smartest thing you can do is see your doctor for a complete checkup, and make sure you talk to him/her about the problem because the solution can change depending on the patient himself.
What You Eat Can Make a Difference
While a lot of people don’t realize it, there are some dietary changes that can make a difference in the bedroom. Plant-based foods, which contain phytoestrogens that often raise the estrogen level in women, are often recommended. Some examples include fruits such as strawberries, peaches, and oranges; vegetables such as carrots, kale, yams, and celery; and legumes such as peas, pinto beans, and lentils.
Men experiencing erectile dysfunction (ED) can eat certain foods that raise their testosterone levels, including olives and olive oil, avocados, shellfish, oatmeal, kidney beans, raisins, oysters, and wheat germ. Choose foods with high levels of monounsaturated fat, magnesium, and zinc for the best results.
And while you’re eating better, it’s also recommended that you take better care of yourself. Exercising regularly, reducing stress, cutting back on alcohol and tobacco products, and losing some weight can all help us have a better sex life, not to mention make the years we have left a lot better and healthier.
Keeping It Interesting in the Bedroom
Once you learn how to deal with physical challenges that sometimes hit us as we age, it’s time to learn a few things about the mental aspects of sex. Many people enjoy their life much more as they get older, and if you apply that same trait to the bedroom, your sex life can explode. Once the physical challenges are taken care of, here are some things you can do to enjoy the emotional advantages of sex a lot more:
- Try something new so it doesn’t become boring. Add a few sex toys, have sex in a different location or at a different time than you usually do, try a different sexual position, or create a romantic atmosphere before you get started.
- Avoid positions that make arthritis or other types of pain get worse. Instead, look for positions that allow you to have sex pain-free. This might include using pillows for support or even having sex side by side. Don’t ignore your physical pain, in other words, but adjust your positions so that it isn’t as noticeable.
- Consider that your medications may have something to do with sex being uncomfortable. Talk to your doctor about blood pressure medications, antidepressants, and even drugs you might be taking for ulcers and high cholesterol to determine if they may be affecting your sex life in a negative way.
- Be open with your partner. If you are experiencing any physical or emotional dissatisfaction in the bedroom, you owe it to yourself to talk it over with your partner. Your partner deserves to know what is happening with you, and you can usually work out a solution together.
Most importantly, just because you’ve reached a certain age doesn’t mean you have to eliminate sex from your life. In fact, once you accept that it may be different and handle any physical challenges that might be getting in the way, it’s possible that your sex life can be better than it has ever been.
Naturally, if you’re not enjoying sex like you used to, you have to first figure out why this is so, and the problem is usually either physical or emotional. Next, you have to find a solution to the problem, which is much easier with your doctor’s help. The main thing to remember is that sex can be great at any age, but it’s also good to remember that regardless of who you are, you deserve to have a great sex life from this point forward!
