Sex talk with friends. You have to admit everyone at one time or another has felt that awkward feeling when you want to discuss something that is sexual but you worry that your friends may find it too personal or embarrassing.
Many women still have that weird feeling of sharing something sexual with their friends. Women learn at a young age that sharing their experiences, sexual health, desires, or anything revolving around sex is somehow shameful and disgusting.
Well, it’s the twenty-first century and I am here to give you five steps on how to initiate a sexual conversation with friends.
How to Bring Up Sexual Topics
It can be hard to bring up sexual topics with your friends. You may wonder how to approach the subject or initiate an open talk about something that concerns you or an experience you enjoyed. The one thing you can do is integrate it into the conversation, whenever there is an opportunity that is close to the topic you want to share, go for it. If there is no opportunity to segway into a sexual topic create one yourself. It may seem intimidating at first, however, the key is to establish that this topic may be uncomfortable but it is normal to talk about.
Take it upon yourself to point out what is your purpose for bringing a sexual topic into discussion. Whether it be for health reasons, advice, or support, make the intention clear that it’s from a good place. Another thing to establish when approaching a sexual topic is to show that you trust them and that it’s one of the reasons you make yourself vulnerable. This can bring up empathy among your friends who may also be hiding sensitive or vulnerable information about sexually related topics.
It’s important to establish consent with all your friends before sharing certain experiences or engaging in sexual topics or conversations. Granted maybe one of your friends is uncomfortable with sharing or hearing this kind of discussion. In order to respect that boundary, you may initiate conversation when that particular person or persons aren’t in the room. But consent is something that needs to be established before engaging in sexual topics. Not many people are open about themselves. You must respect your friends, this establishes trust. So, definitely ask permission before sharing anything.
Setting Conversation Boundaries
Knowing your friends’ boundaries is an important part and a must when discussing something that is sexual. You may not be aware of your friends’ discomfort or if they enjoy sharing their experiences when it comes to sexual health or pleasure. Make sure to ask each friend what their limits are. If one is comfortable talking about their sexual pleasures but not physical health, then keep topics like that strictly on sexual fun you’ve had and want to share or vice versa.
What Topics are on the Table
There are various topics that you can discuss with your friends it can be physical and sexual health, sexual advice, questions about sex or sexual acts that are geared towards books, media, films, the internet, toys, however, make sure all friends are open to sharing their thoughts, experiences or opinions about these.
Checking In on Your Friends
Once you have had your conversations with all previous steps done, check in on how your friends feel. Really hear them out with how they felt discussing any type of sexual content. Were they uncomfortable, excited, relieved, or terrified? It’s important to keep this in mind in case they want to keep discussing various sexual-themed topics or set boundaries for some. Don’t forget to check in with yourself, and tell them how you felt when having these conversations. Your feelings are important just as much as your friends. Once the check-ins have been made, then you’ll know the dos and don’ts of your next conversation.
During the month of love, we strive to form more connections with others. Now is the time to be more vulnerable and aware of ourselves sexually. For too long women have been held back from speaking of such normal desires or health topics. I encourage you to establish a close relationship with friends that you are comfortable with and who also enjoy sharing such parts of themselves. Being more open about any sexual topic will help women for generations to come, more open conversations mean more voices to speak up for future rights and concerns and for our sexual well-being as women.