Anal sex do’s and don’ts. How many of you knew August was also known as Anal sex month? Similar to the month of May being known as Masturbation month.

Anal sex can be a wonderful experience if approached with open communication, mutual understanding, trust, comfort, education and most importantly consent.  Anal sex just like any other sexual play have several factors to consider before going all in literally and figuratively.  I  will be sharing some insight into what you need to consider once you have made the decision to try for the first time and others who have experience and may not feel fully confident in their approach.   

  1. If you are unsure of what you are dealing with then exploration and educating yourself of the anal area is important. You can do this alone or with a partner whichever is comfortable. 
  2.  Anal masturbation is the perfect way to build comfort and confidence before engaging in anal sex. 
  3. Practice relaxation to ensure easy insertion.  If feeling tense incorporate a nice warm bath to aid in relaxation of the anal muscle before play. The muscle is extremely sensitive and forced entry while the anal muscle is tense can cause damage and pain.
  4. Educate yourself on the risks of anal play just as you would any other sex play.
  5. When utilizing toys or other objects always check for rough, uneven, jagged, broken, or sharp edges before insertion. This also includes fingernails. This could cause damage to the thin membrane in the rectal area that causes pain and/or infection.
  6. Be gentle and move slowly to prevent tearing.  Due to the delicate and thin membrane in the rectal wall and high levels of bacteria, any damage can lead to infection and easy access to the bloodstream.
  7. Use plenty of lubrication. More the better. If using latex condoms, water or silicone-based lubrication is a must.
  8. Void your bowel (have a bowel movement) and thoroughly clean 30-60 minutes before anal sex. If using an enema for cleanout purposes make sure to use at least 2 hours before engaging in anal sex. 
  9. Communicate expectations, what you may want to try, and what is off-limits to build trust and comfort if it is your first time.
  10. If you have never engaged in anal sex start off with fingers and smaller toys before proceeding to penis insertion. Bleeding after anal sex is normal, don’t be alarmed.
  11. Dilators and butt plugs are excellent tools to utilize when learning how to relax and stretch the anus for easy and comfortable insertion.
  12. Ensure you are in a comfortable position.  Pillows are great to use to prop up the position to make anal sex comfortable, enjoyable, and easily accessible.
  13. Always use protection. And switch to a new condom when going from the anus to the vagina or mouth.
Anal Sex
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash
  1. Over vigorous thrusting, the first time can lead to tears, infection, and pain. 
  2. Utilization of Saliva is not considered good quality lube
  3. Swapping sex toys from the anus to the vagina is a huge NO
  4. Surprise your partner with anal sex without consent
  5. Pulling out fast. This could lead to damage 
  6. Stressing leads to muscle tension which is not conducive to anal sex
  7. Anal sex with preexisting conditions such as anal fissures and hemorrhoids can cause more damage and intense pain that worsens the conditions. 
  8. Using numbing lubes and creams can hide the pain that is a telling sign something is wrong. This could lead to serious injuries if not treated in a timely manner because you were not aware due to NO PAIN. 

I have listed the dos and don’ts of Anal sex. Anal sex as with any other sexual play feels good. Although for anal sex to feel good, it should be done with clear communication and expectation. If this is your first time trying Anal sex, make sure you are sexually comfortable with your partner. Don’t do this on a whim.


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