Many of us are unaware of the word Situationship. Situationships are relationships that involve everything EXCEPT commitment.
“I do not have to care about you if I do not want to and if you begin to catch feelings for me, I can leave easily because I have no obligation to be concerned about your feelings…we, are just having sex.”
Seriously. In a situationship, you have sex, and a lot of it (thanks Tinder). You might go on trips or dates but ultimately you have a friend with benefits (FWB) and then if emotions get involved it makes it easier for you to say, “Wait, hold on you’re not my girl/guy… you knew what it was”. It’s the easiest scapegoat ever designed for our generation. We can run without explanation because there’s no commitment. We just have this “situation”. I have been on both ends of this encounter…the flee-er and the fleed. I have left and been left, high and dry, confused with a new story to tell.
And for a while, this setup was perfect for me. I had a boyfriend all throughout college, and once we broke up, I wanted to “find myself.” (everybody needs that stage of self-exploration, ok) and after years of traveling, meeting people, and getting to know what I liked and didn’t like, I felt I was ready to give up my lifestyle. But, everybody was where I was, consumed in the hookup culture.
I soon learned that in today’s relationship world it seems like it is actually hard to find somebody willing to actually commit LONG TERM, MONOGAMOUSLY. They call it the microwave millennial era, we want everything quick and easy and then, we are done with them quick. (I sound like such an Aries.)
Add this on top of the fact, that a lot of us don’t really see any examples of healthy love in real life, and our over-consumption of social media has the tendency to perpetuate toxic love relationships as well. (Heyyy there Love and Hip Hop!)
So the whole idea of side chicks and side dudes and polygamous relationships are becoming so popular that people are thinking that’s the “in” thing and forgetting about creating true, genuine union with somebody to build with.
Ask yourself have you ever been in a situationship? Who did that work out better for…you or them? Were you wanting to find love?
I remind myself that the key to a healthy relationship; a situationship or otherwise, is clear honest communication by both parties involved. Honesty with what you desire and want from the relationship regardless if it is a temporary relationship or not.