Kissing is an intimate way of showing affection, whether it’s on the cheek, forehead, or lips. When it comes to pleasing your partner, kissing is one of the most important acts of contact that lets your partner know you care. A kiss can be emotional intimacy, physical intimacy, reinforce attraction, and stress relief (Smith). However, relationships sometimes go on a calm current, a consistency of normal steady interaction, the spark of what makes the relationship exciting and satisfying physically for the other is gone.

Let’s say sex isn’t much of an interest or a concern, but other forms of intimacy are a key element to expressing one’s love for another. If the intimacy has fled from your relationship there are different ways to bring that flame back into your partnership, through kissing. 

Here are five kissing techniques that can bring spark and spice back into your relationship:

Slow Kiss—This technique can be a coy way of bringing back the intimacy in the relationship. The purpose of this kiss is to have your partner wanting more. You start with establishing a mood by small brushes of contact, whether it’s to hold their waist, wrap your warms around their neck or hold their face. The kiss is meant to be timid, create a moment that lasts for a long time.

From a small kiss to a deeper kiss, do not use your tongue or any aggressive movement, establish control by being slow. This will make your partner have the urgency to want a more sensual kiss. However, by that time pull away and give a small kiss to seal the moment. This kiss can be all you need to send a signal. Sometimes words are hard to come by but actions speak volumes.

Neck Kiss—this technique can be wholesome or sensual depending on where you want it to lead. Start with either a slow kiss or aggressive kiss and bring your way down your partner’s neck. Depending on the pressure you put on their neck (licks, or pecks) your partner’s audible or physical response will clue you in on what they want and can work in your favor to reignite the flame.

kissing technique
Photo by Dima Kosh on Unsplash

Relaxation Kiss—This kiss can be a helpful way to establish intimacy because it goes beyond the sensual or sexual kinds of kisses. Begin with a few pecks on their face and neck, the motions are quick but present on the skin. This technique provides a sense of closeness but not too sensual that it can ignite any physical intimacy This kiss helps establish comfort and playfulness for your partner, especially if they are having a stressful day. 

Aggressive Kiss—If intimacy is where you want to show, this technique can be a great starting point. Initiation is key, a slow kiss must be sensual and unexpected. You must make the first move, start slowing then work your way up to more quick movement of the lips and the tongue. The focus is to make your partner surprised but also excited by this new movement, that is almost needy and wanting at the same time. Of course, hold your partner tightly by the waist, hips or any other position that gives you accretion over them through the kiss, you must take the lead, this will excite your partner. 

Upside Down Kiss—the “upside-down” technique isn’t going to be like the kiss from the Spider-Man movie, you won’t be completely upside down or in the rain for that matter. This kiss can occur when they are on your lap or leaning on the couch or laying in bed. Depending on how they are positioned you can place your lips on theirs—your top lips against their bottom lips.

These kissing techniques are just a few of the many that have brought connection back into a relationship. I recommend these five techniques because they offer some form of significance to a relationship, whether it be to reconnect intimately through sex, emotional, or comfort.


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