Learning to perform fellatio aka a blow job. When I was a teenager one of the first things I learned about sex was that every man liked a good blow job. To us, teens learning the art of oral sex were also a way to remain virginal.

Fast forward thirty years and wow, how things have changed. First my view of whether or not oral sex is considered sex, (thank you Bill Clinton) um, yes.

Then when I met my husband he informed me that he had never really been into receiving blow jobs. “Eh, I could live without them,” he said.

I know most of you are probably thinking that maybe he has never had a good blow job. So to change his mind I thought I better brush up on my skills. Let’s see how the experts do it.

Porn! My brilliant plan quickly turned when I realized that I may not be able to produce that much saliva. What’s up with all this gagging and throat f*cking? Watching these women gasping for air as a pool of saliva gathers around their knees made me think. Whatever happened to the good old-fashioned blow job? Porn!

That’s right, porn strikes again. Just like the demise of pubic hair. Ok, I don’t miss that but we could probably say that the porn industry has made waxing salons millions.

I also thought where in history did fellatio come from? What facts can I find on the humble beginnings of the “blow job.” Not exactly sexy but I was always taught the more you know, the better you do.

The word fellatio stems from the Latin word fellare, meaning to suck.

One of the earliest guides to sex came from India, somewhere between the third and fifth centuries known as the Kama Sutra, teaching that good sex is good karma. The Kama Sutra featured eight stages of “oral congress” describing the act from start to finish in eight different steps.

The Romans believed the act of fellatio was passive and the fellator represented weakness.

Greek mythology notes that the Earth God Geb was able to suck his penis. Autofellatio is defined as the act of performing fellatio on oneself. Ok, I realize I have gone off the beaten path with this but I thought it was interesting and needed to be shared.

According to sex researcher Alfred Kinsey, only two or three in a thousand can achieve such a feat.

However, for anyone interested, there may be hope. Although few men possess the flexibility and penis length, to perform safely it is not entirely out of the question. With increased flexibility using yoga and a little assistance, it may be possible for some. I repeat, only for some.

Anyway, back to me. Some of you may want to know, how does this story end for me? Well to my dismay, the reason my husband wasn’t into blow jobs is that what he really wanted was a good throat f*cking.

So I am bidding farewell to the humble blow job but all is not completely lost. I have learned that sex will always be evolving in our ever-changing world and did you know the mere act of sucking on a mint can increase the production of saliva quite substantially?

S. H. Atlanta, GA

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