October is Bully Prevention Month. Bullying is never an acceptable behavior from kids or adults. To deal with bullying, I have always been one to preach self-confidence. I feel every woman needs to feel the power in herself even just a little so that they do not allow anyone else to tear them down. Believing that you are beautiful can stop disrespectful people from trying to convince you otherwise.
There is a difference between being cocky and being confident. Being confident is from building self-esteem and embracing self-worth. Whereas, being cocky is arrogant and believing that success and achievements make you better than someone else.
I am self-confident because even though I know I may not be the most attractive person in the world, I know that even the women considered highly attractive cannot compare to me. Not because of my looks but because I strive to be better. I genuinely care about people and want them to succeed. I know that when I am around people I leave a lasting impression. They will remember me because I carried myself with self-confidence.
Allowing yourself to believe when other people say negative comments about you can be extremely detrimental. I am not saying that being self-confident means that negative comments people say won’t affect you but it will make it harder for you to believe them.
My friend was in an abusive relationship and didn’t see herself as worthy of being loved or think of herself as beautiful. She would constantly put herself down. She wouldn’t go out unless she had a full face of makeup on. Every day I would witness this and I would pay her a compliment with and without her makeup on. I felt that she needed to know that she is beautiful without makeup and that wearing makeup only highlights her beauty, not creates it.
I would then share with her how I became so confident and discuss with her the 4 steps I took.
4 Steps to Self-Confidence
- Don’t compare yourself to others. I promise it will only make things worse. Everyone is at different stages in life and to compare yourself to someone who is at their success stage will only make you feel as if you have failed. Make the time to understand that what is for you will make its way to you. Yes, it still requires hard work. Yes, I know that you are tired and feel like giving up but you got this! I believe in you.
- Slow progress is still progress. Everything takes time, the best things in life cannot be rushed. For rare and tasty wine it can take up to 4 years to improve the taste. Even blue agave tequila can take years to get that redefined taste. So whether you are a classy wine or wild tequila as long as you keep moving forward you can still be successful.
- Be positive and do what makes you happy. Confidence starts from within, if you feel good you will look good and give off positive vibes. If you are considered plus size and want to wear tight clothes or a crop top, DO IT. Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t.
- Create a positive support system. Surround yourself with people who care for and love you. It will make all the difference when you are feeling down about yourself.
Words of affirmation are also another way to help boost self-confidence. Over the years, I have learned the power of words. I learned that when you speak your hopes and wishes out loud, you speak them into existence.
No, I’m not saying some mystical being appears and grants your every wish. However, I am saying that when you say it, you believe it. Something as simple as saying “you are enough” can make you feel like you deserve better and help you accept yourself. Sadly, this “speak it into existence” mantra also applies to negative thoughts. If you are constantly putting yourself down it will eventually show. It might not be obvious at first but it will show on a bad day.
Say these words of affirmation every day to yourself
- I am in control of my life
- I am enough
- I am strong
- I am in charge of my happiness
- I am beautiful, inside and out
- I am important
- I matter
- I chose prosperity over failure
- I don’t chase, I attract, what is for me will find me
- Good things will happen to me
- I believe in myself and my abilities
For me, self-confidence is the key to spotting and stopping bullying behavior from another person. I understand my journey sounds quite simple to do. At first, it was a nuisance for me to implement the 4 steps and say the words of affirmation. After some time and being consistent, I learned I am worth it and I intend to never believe differently. I hope my tidbits help you learn the self-confidence you deserve.