Yes, I know, Sex Lives Matter this title is borrowing from the BLM movement. 2020 has taught us many sobering things. One lesson, 2020 has reminded us, is it is time for a change. The status quo is not working anymore (if it ever was). We cannot be silent thinking others will take care of this.
We need to be constantly discoursing about race, the MeToo movement, wage disparity, sexism, and the wonderous topic of sex.
In this article, focus will be on the MeToo movement, sexism and sex lives matter.
MeToo Movement
One of the messages of the MeToo movement is you are not alone. Most women understand all too well the experience of being sexually harassed and/or assaulted. Women have been sent a mixed message within society that we are to blame for the behavior and we should accept partial responsibility…had we not been drinking or wearing a provocative outfit. The assault would not have happened to us.
This is similar to blaming someone for being burglarized because they are wealthy living in a nice neighborhood.
Quit blaming the victim! Instead blame the perpetrator and society. Society has reinforced the behavior when they have been willing based on social status to look the other way. Regardless of the perpetrators’ profession and economic status, they should have the same consequences for their offensive and shameful behavior.
All women must be on the same page with the MeToo Movement for change to continuously take place.
A woman anonymously wrote to K&T concerning the MeToo Movement:
Has anyone had a conversation with women about what they find disturbing and offensive? I hate strip clubs! The idea of men staring at a woman’s naked body, throwing them money for their performance like they are some kind of circus animal disgusts me. I hate massage parlors/ saunas aka jack shacks! The idea that a man looks at a woman merely as a sexual object (same as above) or an instrument used to achieve orgasm makes me want to vomit.
These places should no longer exist in our society and I would love to be the person to throw the first stick of dynamite into a strip club after it has been shut down. I hate watching a movie that has a rape scene or a woman being held against her will. The feeling of helplessness and vulnerability gives me terrible PTSD.
Sexism
Yes, women and men are fundamentally different however we must quit punishing women for being female. To start demolishing sexism, the simplest solution is equal pay.
It appears the new presidential administration understands this change has to take place based on the incoming vice president being female and many cabinet leaders nominated are female. Impressive to say the least and Ruth Bader Ginsburg would be proud!
Sex lives matter
It is okay to think about and talk about sex.
This is another topic in society that cannot be freely discussed without a sense of shame. Without feeling bad, dirty, or wrong. The question is why does the topic of sex continue to have a negative connotation associated with it and not an overwhelmingly positive one.
The pleasure of sex is part of the human body’s senses oddly though it’s the only one we can mentally turn off. Understanding and embracing sex in your life begins with communication. Freely communicating about sex diminishes that notion it is something that you should be ashamed of.
It’s fun to talk about it with your sexual partner or even a close friend. Conversing about sex opens many doors that otherwise would have been closed. Doors such as good books or movies to watch that are sex-positive, doors such as learning new positions you’d like to try, or positions that need to be retired. Conversing assists with adding variety to the bedroom or it can reinforce what is and is not working during sex. More importantly, you learn after having the conversation is easier than you thought.
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