Kissing is a sweet act of love that is intimate, sensual, and romantic. For those who want to have their first kiss, the ones who are in long-term relationships, or even those who like to casually meet someone; being able to initiate a proper kiss will bring joy to both parties. Touching lips is more than just an expression of affection, there are health benefits to kissing.
According to a 2009 study, kissing can help relieve stress. Knowing what you know now, you may be a bit rusty or just starting, but we have some key advice components to help you set the mood for your mind-blowing kisses.
Practice
You must practice how to kiss to prepare for the official experience. When it comes to your first kiss, it’s important to understand the concept of a kiss and how it is done. There are two ways you can practice a kiss:
Try using a pillow or your hand. This can help give you a smooth surface to go over the preparation of a kiss. Your hand is extra useful since you will be able to feel the movements on your skin. It may seem off-putting or embarrassing, but with the first kiss, you want to know if you’re doing it right. Once you feel confident in the kissing scenario, the next step is preparing for your kiss.
Prepare
Your lips are the key player in kissing and making sure your lips are prepared for a kiss is crucial. For starters, having ChapStick on hand can be a lifesaver. To avoid dry and cracked lips, moisturize your lips with Vaseline or ChapStick. Have gum or breath mints on you, part of a good kiss is having fresh breath, you may not have a toothbrush, but this is the next best thing.
If you want to go the extra mile, bring a toothbrush and toothpaste, and give your teeth and tongue a good scrubbing in the nearest bathroom. Lastly, try not to eat anything with an intense smell. For example, if you are planning to initiate a first kiss you don’t want your breath to smell like onions or garlic. Intense flavors are sometimes difficult to mask with gum.
Set The Mood
Creating a romantic setting to have your first kiss will help your partner(s) get into that headspace and intensify the kiss as it’s being shared. The first thing to do is build tension with small affections. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a kiss on the cheek, it can be other physical affections your partner(s) likes. For example, if it’s a first date or even a long-term relationship: handholding, a hand brush on the cheek, or arms. If you want to use your lips, try kissing their shoulders or forehead. Next is timing, there might be a beautiful view or a location you have in mind.
Is your partner shy and prefers affection in a more private setting, or they don’t mind a little PDA? Keep this in mind when you plan on kissing them. Making sure they’re comfortable is key, and your comfort level is just as important. Lastly, make sure that the conversation is light. If it’s your first kiss you don’t want the kiss to be during a conversation of a sad story or tragedy. Timing the kiss along with where you are can help set the mood and give your partner(s) reassurance, safety, and feelings of intimacy.
Consent
In movies and TV, they make a kiss that is out of the blue or forceful seem romantic. The truth is it’s not. Asking for consent is extremely important when performing an intimate act that includes kissing. There are many ways to ask permission to kiss someone. You may think being very direct can damper the mood, however, there are ways to word consent so that your partner will feel closer to you. Here are a few phrases to help you get started:
- “May I kiss you?”
- “I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?”
- “Your lips look so kissable, is it okay if I kiss you now?”
- “I want to show you how much I have grown to care for you. May I kiss you?”
- “I love you very much, can I get a kiss?”
I’ll admit, typing these was a bit funny and cringe-worthy. However, I promise you, once you are in that intimate bubble with your partner(s) these words of consent can drive someone’s heart a mile a minute.
Kissing Time
The moment of truth has arrived. You have prepared for this moment, you set the mood and asked for consent. Now is the time for the kiss. Regardless of if this is your first time or not, there are always the basics of kissing you need to know when getting started. If you are going for a deep kiss or a make-out session (usually that comes much later if both consent), then these are some tips you should keep in mind. For those who have been in long-term relationships or enjoy dating around, here’s a refresher.
- Lean in slow: let your partner(s) close the gap. This is another way of consent, waiting for them to get closer, thus initiating the kiss.
- Be gentle: this is a great tip, especially for first-time kissers. Just a gentle nudge between the lips helps with the pace. You don’t want to go fast or hard, it won’t be pleasant.
- Relaxed mouth: When kissing someone, it’s important to relax your mouth. Try mirroring what your partner(s) is doing. This will help set the pace and initiate a more intimate kiss.
- Don’t rush: Again, those movie and TV show romances where the kisses are very rough from the beginning and go super-fast, that isn’t a proper way to initiate a kiss. The key is to go at a leisurely pace. Take time to savor through your senses and go at a slow pace.
- Change paces: Going at the same slow pace can get a bit boring. For first kisses and long-term couples, you can change the kiss up a bit by changing paces, from fast to slow, soft to hard. It makes the kiss last longer and more intimate which can go into making out territory. Again, remember to consent and enjoy the ride, maybe your kissing partner will change the pace as well.
- Don’t overthink: You may be overwhelmed and feel like you don’t know what you’re doing or if your partner(s) is not satisfied. However, remember to enjoy the moment (especially with your first kiss) a kiss is a special moment to feel all the sensations. Overthinking can cause what you’ve prepared for to falter and possibly end a kiss, it may leave you unsatisfied or your partner.
Now that you have read all the important components that help you prepare, set the mood, and initiate a kiss, we hope you and the person you are with will enjoy a wonderful experience. Lip locking can still be new and fresh, you just need to be bold, prep those lips, and ask. If you want to get more complex with kissing especially as the relationship(s) progresses, then try out these 5 Kissing Techniques.
