Masturbation. If you’re like me, this simple and powerful word makes you giggle and blush like a schoolgirl watching her crush from across the playground. It’s a word that isn’t comfortably socialized for a large population of women, and most likely not something that you and your partner are actively discussing at the dinner table. Yet, masturbation is a powerful toy to play with – Yep!! Pun intended!!

As a young woman, it’s rarely discussed when you have the sex talk with your mom so it lands on us to figure out on our own what it is and where it fits in your life.

For me, that process came with quite a few false narratives. As I get deeper into my marriage and more comfortable in my own skin I did some research and found the top 3 myths I’d like to demystify. 

masturbation myths

3 Masturbation Myths

People only masturbate when they are alone

This will blend right in with the second myth, but if you’ve watched any porn lately you will likely see both parties at some point pleasuring themselves in some capacity. Masturbation, while satisfying alone, is absolutely pleasurable with a partner. 

People in relationships don’t masturbate

On Everday Health this is the number 1 myth and I couldn’t agree more. Early in my marriage while sharing an intimate evening together, my husband began to stroke himself. At first, I tried to ignore it but as he continued while we were kissing I couldn’t help but become so distracted that I had to stop.

I was horrified and I remember being in tears and feeling like he was doing this because I wasn’t enough and I wasn’t making him feel good. It took us more years than I care to admit to getting comfortable talking about masturbation and it took even longer to admit to him that I masturbated. Masturbation with your partner is one more way to spice up the night with your partner!

a couple mutually masturbating in bed

And my favorite myth of all – There are no health benefits to masturbation

I call bullsh!t on this one!!! Masturbation is a great stress reliever. It can be a much-needed distraction and just as energizing as your afternoon walk. My husband and I have been in a drought lately in the bedroom. It’s been exhausting and mentally hard to deal with losing that physical and emotional connection with your partner even for a short time.

I recently masturbated to help manage the tension I was experiencing and it worked like magic. Don’t get me wrong, I still long for his hands all over me, but having that moment with myself to feel that pleasure and explore my own body like I hadn’t in a long time was simply orgasmic.

No matter where you are in your sexual journey, masturbation should be a part of it. If you haven’t quite gotten comfortable enough to masturbate or even talk about it, start slow. Understanding what your body likes and needs is empowering. 


Check out a few of the other articles on Kiss & Tell Magazine, or have a listen to one of the live sessions with some of our experts.