No way I can have too much sex! I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times—there are no ‘right’ amount of times to have sex. Whether you like having sex every day or every month, your frequency can not be prescribed and it is fully based on the individual. There are a ton of health benefits to having sex such as improved cardiovascular functioning, decreased anxiety, and better sleep, but what happens when sex goes bad? Is there such a thing as “too much sex”? 

If you notice any of the following, it’s probably time to re-examine your sex life and adjust as you need!

burning match inflammation felt from too much sex


While some swelling is normal after any amount of sexual activity, you want to be on the lookout for inflammation or redness that doesn’t go away quickly. This could be because of too little lubrication, a yeast infection, a potential UTI, or even just prolonged sex! 
It’s important to be on the lookout for as continued use of any body part, much less a vulva when inflammation is involved can increase pain and discomfort as well as create a barrier to treatment of the root cause.

How To Help:
Use an ice pack, utilize more or different lubricants, and take a break from sex. You might also include pelvic floor exercise for an added bonus of increased sexual pleasure!

woman bending over in back pain from too much sex

Back Pain

Sometimes good sex includes changing positions, but that can be bad if not approached correctly. Back pain can come from poor stretching, changing positions too quickly, or too much stress placed on the body. Sex is a physical activity, so you might even pull muscles or tear a ligament! 

How To Help:
Plan ahead! If you know your back might feel pain easier, utilize lower stress positions. Invest in a good sex pillow for added support for your body. You can also take a pain reliever before or after sex for smaller irritations. Talking with your partner about pain should always be included in sexual conversations, so prioritize letting them know if you need to move or adjust for your own comfort.

toilet paper is difficult to use during a Urinary tract infections side effect too much sex

Urinary Tract Infections

The dreaded UTI! These happen when bacteria enter the urinary tract through the urethra and continue to multiply in the bladder. Our body is normally good at preventing these, but sometimes a little bacteria sneak through. Most sexually active vulva owners will have a UTI at some point in their life. The risk increases with new partners, as well as sex with multiple partners. You definitely don’t want to ignore these ladies as it can spread and cause permanent damage to the bladder or kidneys.

How To Help:
Research from a 2017 study shows that as high as 40% of UTIs can be cured without medication. Your body needs lots of rest, unsweetened cranberry juice (watch the sugar, that will make it worse!), vitamin C, and probiotics. Again, UTIs aren’t something to mess with, so consult your doctor when symptoms show up to get the best advice and/or a prescription! It’s always better to be on the safer side when our bodies are concerned.

female showing physical pain from having too much sex

Other Pain

This can include bruises, rug or rope burn, headaches, soreness, or vaginal pain. While not all types of pain are emergencies or require a doctor’s visit, it is important to listen to your body and give it a break when it requires one. That being said, it’s totally cool if the pain is the goal or you and your partner are enjoying BDSM play! Be mindful of your body and its limitations while also enjoying your fun.

How To Help:
Don’t ignore other basic needs, such as hunger or thirst. This can help keep headaches or other aches and pains at bay. Take pain relievers as needed, and take a break for as long as your body wants if you are noticing pain. If vaginal pain increases or does not dissipate, consult your doctor to see if there are other health concerns or tears that require medical intervention.

female covering her face in mental exhaustion

Mental Exhaustion

All sex should be safe and consensual first and foremost. If you notice dreading sexual encounters or find yourself no longer enjoying sexual contact, it could be a sign you have hit your limit. Sex should be enjoyable for all parties, and if you continue to have it with a lack of interest, it can be damaging to your mental health. You might notice an increase in depression, anxiety, or resentment toward your partner. While these are not always sex-related, it could be helpful to check and see what the culprit is before continuing!

How To Help:
Frequently check in with yourself and your partner/s to see how you are doing. Practice saying no if you need to! Spend time doing other activities that bring you joy and meaning, even if that means spending some time solo. Recharge with a friend in a non-sexual way. If feelings or concerns continue, talk to a therapist to prevent escalation of distress.

Sex should be exciting and fun, but our bodies do more than just connect with others physically! It is important to be routinely checking in to see what our needs are. Ultimately, what works for you and any partner should be set individually, not based on what works for other people. Conversations about needs should be ongoing and not just happen once. 

Don’t let these 5 ways of “too much sex” deter you from having it. Take care of those bumps and bruises and get back out there!

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