What is a mindful foot massage you ask? Massage is one of the greatest sensual delights you can share with your partner. Massage can be a stand-alone sensual activity or a prelude to sexual intercourse. Massage allows you to explore every nook and cranny of your partner’s body in a relaxed, sensual way. Devoting your full attention to kneading, stroking, and manipulating your partner’s body requires that you are fully mindful of the present moment.
Giving a massage is an excellent training tool for mindfulness. All of your senses are involved in giving a massage. Primary among them is the sense of touch. When you give a massage you must be acutely aware of pressure and motion and the feel of your muscles as well as your partner’s skin and flesh. Your sense of smell gets involved because of the natural scent of your partner’s skin, hair, and body fluids.
Also, many of the massage oils commonly used are scented and can add an extra olfactory dimension to your experience. Visually, you are focused on the shape and contour of your partner’s body as your hands move along the ridges and lines of her muscles. The only sense that isn’t automatically involved in giving a massage is taste but with a little creativity on your part, you can even work that in.
You can give full-body or partial massages. Sometimes just a back massage or a foot massage will do the trick. At other times, a full-body massage, complete with scented candles, is preferred. Massage can be a prelude to other forms of sexual activity. In sensual massage, the focus shifts to providing more direct contact with the genitals and other erogenous zones. In this case massage blends with masturbation if you want to transform it into an experience capable of leading to orgasm. The focus of your ministrations shifts to the genitals and other erogenous zones.
Mindful Foot Massage Step by Step
Purpose: This activity is designed to help you start to apply your mindfulness training to sexual activities with your partner. Learning how to give your partner’s feet 100% of your attention without judgment sets the stage for doing the same thing with your partner’s genitals and full body during other erotic activities.
Specific Instructions
1. Have your partner lie face down on the bed with his or her feet extending over the edge of the bed about 12 inches.
2. Pull up a stool or chair and position it so that your partner’s feet are directly in front of you and you can grasp them easily while seated.
3. Spend a few moments just noticing your partner’s feet with all five of your senses.
4. Get close and examine each foot carefully. Imagine you are a scientist taking noticing the size, shape, color, texture, and weight of your partner’s feet.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
5. Now close your eyes and examine your partner’s feet using your senses of touch, smell, and taste.
6. Use your nose, cheeks, face, head, and hair to examine your partner’s feet.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
7. Now take a quick taste. You just washed your partner’s feet so they are clean. Suck on a toe, and lick your partner’s instep, heel, or Achilles tendon. You don’t have to get too freaky just take a taste.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions about experiencing your partner’s feet with all five of your senses.
If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s feet.
8. Spread oil or powder all over your partner’s feet and ankles.
9. Take your time and rub it all over, making sure to get between your partner’s toes.
10. Notice how the oil or powder feels and smells as you rub it into your partner’s feet.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
11. Now stand and cradle both of your partner’s feet in your two hands.
12. Notice the weight and feel of your partner’s feet in your hands.
13. Press your partner’s feet against your genitals.
14. If you are a woman, notice the sensations in your genitals as you press your partner’s feet against your vulva.
15. If you are a man, have your partner’s feet cradle around your penis and feel the soles of your partner’s feet against your scrotum. Notice the sensations in your penis and scrotum as you press your partner’s feet against them.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
16. Let your partner know how good this feels.
Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you press your partner’s feet against your genitals.
If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s feet and the sensations in your genitals.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
17. Now sit back down and shift your focus off of yourself and back on your partner’s feet.
18. Start at your partner’s ankles.
19. Grasp both feet at the ankle and pull your hands back towards you as you slide your thumbs over the heels and down the center of your partner’s feet.
20. Apply pressure with your thumbs as you pull your hands along the center of your partner’s feet.
21. Do this several times.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
22. Now shift your focus to your partner’s left foot.
23. Grasp your partner’s left foot at the ankle with both of your hands, and pull your hands back towards you as you slide your thumbs over the heel and down the center of your partner’s left foot.
24. Apply pressure with your thumbs as you pull your hands along the center of your partner’s left foot.
25. Do this several times.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
26. Now shift your focus to the toes on your partner’s left foot.
27. Start with the big toe and using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull, and twist the big toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.
28. Repeat this action a couple of times on the big toe.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
29. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.
30. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull, and twist the next toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.
31. Repeat this action a couple of times on the second toe.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
32. Work your way down to the middle toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.
33. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull, and twist the middle toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.
34. Repeat this action a couple of times on the middle toe.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
35. Work your way down to the next toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.
36. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull, and twist the next toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.
37. Repeat this action a couple of times on the next toe.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
38. Work your way down to the pinkie toe and as you do this, roll your finger between the toes and focus on the area between your partner’s toes.
39. Now using just your thumb and forefinger gently pull, and twist the pinkie toe. Use extra oil or powder to make them very slippery.
40. Repeat this action a couple of times on the pinkie toe.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
Notice your thoughts, self-talk, mental images, and emotions as you massage your partner’s feet and toes.
If your mind wanders into the future or the past or fills with unhelpful thoughts and feelings note that this is happening and say to yourself; “There goes my runaway mind again, taking me out of the present moment” and focus on your partner’s body and the sensations in your hands and fingers as you are massaging.
41. Now focus on the arch on your partner’s left foot.
42. Grab your partner’s foot with both hands and use your thumbs to knead just the arch.
43. Repeat this action a couple of times.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
44. When you are finished kneading it with your thumbs after a few times shift and use your fist to rub it in a circular motion putting more pressure on it than before.
45. Repeat this action a couple of times.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
46. Now grasp all of the toes in your partner’s left foot with one hand and rotate them in a circular motion.
47. As you continue to hold all of the toes on your partner’s left foot in one hand, push the ball of your partner’s foot down towards the floor while gently pulling your partner’s left heel back towards you with the other hand. This will gently stretch your partner’s entire left foot.
48. Do this a couple of times.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
52. Repeat numbers 20-47 on your partner’s right foot.
PAUSE FOR A FEW SECONDS
90. Gently wipe off the excess oil from your partner’s feet and legs and cover them with a blanket or towel.
91. Let your partner relax and enjoy the warmth and peacefulness.
91 steps is a lot I know but in the end, I hope you enjoyed learning about mindful foot massage and that you will try it with your partner. For the complete audio file of this exercise go to my Sexual Mindfulness Audio Collection.
K&T discusses sexual health, as well as many other topics. Support us by becoming a subscriber, subscribers get their voices heard by guiding our content.
Help us keep the conversation going…click one of the buttons below or copy the link. In case you missed them when they were Live, watch our previous podcasts.
