Period sex, like all types of sex and sexual activities, can be very enjoyable and fun. For some, having sex while on a period may seem a bit unconventional, or even inconceivable, but for others, period sex is an exciting, intimate activity. It is important to first reflect on whether it is something you would be open to trying and to respect your personal interests and sexual limits, as well as the desires and limits of any partners you wish to engage with.
If period sex is not for you, that is perfectly okay. Decisions made for yourself and your safety as well as comfort, are valid and to be respected. For those interested in period sex and looking for tips on how to get started, stay tuned!
So why should anyone consider period sex?
Some vulva owners report increased sensitivity around and in the vulva during their cycle. Similarly, there are individuals who report increased desire for sexual activity and an easier time becoming aroused. Period sex may be a great option for those who have painful sex or who experience decreased lubrication.
The heightened sensitivity and increased desire are often attributed to hormonal changes that occur in conjunction with periods. Additional sensations combined with the added lubrication that generally comes with a period can make penetrative sex more enjoyable for some individuals.
However, not all bodies or people are the same. There are individuals who report having excruciating cramps during their cycle which often prevent them from engaging in penetrative sexual activity, and there are still others who report that having sex on their period actually helps to alleviate the pain they feel during their cycle. Acknowledging the great variation that exists between individuals and their desires is crucial to developing and maintaining a satisfying, sex-positive lifestyle while promoting overall well-being.
Partnered Period Sex
If you have a partner and you would like to engage in period sex together, the first step is to have an open, honest talk with them about it, where you both can discuss your thoughts, feelings, desires, and limitations in a healthy, constructive way.
It is important to ensure that you both decide to have this discussion in a time and place where you both feel safe and can actively listen to one another. This is not a conversation that should be rushed. In order to facilitate open, trusting communication, the time and place for the discussion is paramount.
I suggest talking when you both have had adequate rest and when you aren’t distracted by other concerns, so you can both truly be present and engaged in the conversation. Before anything else, make sure you both are in agreement and that everyone feels comfortable, and that their opinions are heard and valued.
Sheets, Towels, or Mats?
Many individuals who opt out of period sex do so citing this number one concern: that period sex is too messy. And indeed, it can be, but fortunately, there are actions that those interested in period sex can take to help prevent or minimize mess. Whether you choose to have period sex in bed, on the couch, or on the floor, it might be a good idea to lay down a towel that covers a decent amount of surface area for you and your partner to move around in and have a good time.
That way the towel will catch any potential staining agents instead of the furniture or flooring. Doing this can help everyone involved feel more present in the experience because they do not have to worry as much about how messy period sex may be, meaning they can give themselves permission to fully enjoy the experience. It is hard to enjoy sex and be an active participant in it when your mind is focused solely on how to combat or prevent staining etc.
If towels are not your thing, but you would still like to prevent your furniture or sheets from getting messy, absorbent Venus Mat might be for you. The Venus Mat is a waterproof, washable mat you can place on your bed, or anywhere else you might decide. The creators of the Venus Mat handmake the mats using only certified, approved, safe materials and they guarantee that with proper care, the mat will remain waterproof for up to three years. The Venus Mat is super convenient because it is wash and dryer safe, as well. Larger adult shops also might carry water and stain-proof bedding that may be helpful for period sex and other activities.
New Positions
Because of the increased sensitivity that often comes with being on a period, trying new sex positions could be a lot of fun. Again, it is still important to emphasize that it is not recommended that anyone push their bodies over the limit, or engage in activities they do not want to do.
The main rule of thumb should be to stick to what your body wants or needs. If trying new positions is something you would like to try, that is wonderful. If you or your partner(s) do not wish to do so, that is equally valid. Sex during a cycle might feel slightly different, which is why some individuals may try other positions and discover that they enjoy one or two positions most while engaging in period sex.
Shower Sex
Another possible fun consideration for those who would like to try period sex is having sex in the shower. Having period sex in the shower can be done in place of laying down towels or changing bedsheets. Just be careful not to slip and to take any necessary safety precautions so that all participants may have a wonderful experience without getting seriously harmed or injured in the process.
The ultimate tip for having great period sex, or great any kind of sex, is to have fun and ensure that the activity you are engaging in aligns with your values and respects your sexual limits. All individuals are so incredibly different and the range of interests and comfortability levels between people varies considerably. There is no one size fits all recommendation, which is why a thorough, deep self-examination of your desires and needs is so important. Create that safe space for yourself and for any partners you have because doing so will definitely impact your satisfaction and health in a positive way.
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